|The Positive Principle Show|
Heather's blog page
I am profoundly grateful for the Positive Principle Show experience. I want to thank Polly, Max and Tricia for being the finest of coaches and support team. I am so grateful for my fellow cast members who shared their journey with me. It has been a transformative experience.
I sit on the sofa and watch my beautiful, frail 21 year old Maine Coon cat, Stormy, curled in the blue wingback chair. He is so tiny, so emaciated. He is dying. We all are ultimately, but his long years have finally caught up with him. It has been a day of trying to make him comfortable with pain medications. I have been in consultation with my home vet who will be here tomorrow to assess Stormy and most likely we will help ease his transition Sunday afternoon. My heart is heavy, so I concentrate on breathing deeply. To watch my angelic furry child sleep, his belly rising and falling slowly, is a meditation. I go deeply into a state of being. There is no more to do in this moment. Stormy and I are as all of us, Children of the Universe. It is often in the twilight of life, before the great transition into the next world, that we come face to face with that peace, one of neither grasping nor reaching. I look into the tired emerald green eyes of my Stormy, and I see the cosmos, infinite, timeless. As Stormy approaches death, I surrender to being, not doing. To loving, not coveting. To stopping, not starting. I know the spirit of my beautiful boy is entwined with mine. Now is all we have. Now is the greatest gift we are given....
This week has been a challenging one, the subtle tendrils of despair making their appearance like the delicate buds of Spring at long last giving way to the blooms of flowers in New Hampshire. It was Kahlil Gibran in " The Prophet," who wrote, "
"And he alone is great who turns the voice of the wind into a song made sweeter by his own loving."
Bright Blessings to all of you during this very magical time of year! As I type, the Pink Moon is on the rise, heralding rebirth, where here in the Northeast, the grasp of winter has finally receded, and the promise of flowers and greenery in bloom whispers sweetly into the night air. Tomorrow morning on April 4th, we have a Libra Lunar Eclipse, a very charged event indeed, a time for transformation, for purification and change! A time for action! This heavenly event coincides with this week's Positive Principle! We have been working up to this week of action! This is a week where we embrace our fears, feel the LOVE, and get things done! I realize that I have had my writing, singing and audition goals on hold because of fear in the past. This week, with the ever sage wisdom and guidance of Polly and Max, I am not letting fear paralyze me any longer in pursuing my vision! The songs and my manuscripts are written as are the query letters. Tonight I have embraced the magic of the waxing full moon to create a beautiful ritual where I am sending blessings and positive spells with my manuscripts and songs I wish to have published. We can all harness the power and magic of the moon, to manifest great things in our lives. We can not only put our intention out into the Universe, but follow through with specific steps daily so that we follow through with our intentions! To quote one of my favorite all time movies, " Almost Famous, " " It's all happening!"
This week, we have been working with the 2nd Positive Principle, LOVE! What a powerful and life changing week it has been. I realized that I have little trouble in sending love to others. However, the greatest challenge for me has been to look in the mirror literally, and send that love to myself. My coaching session with Polly on Thursday was truly enlightening. One exercise we worked on was to send love to my past selves during different ages during times of pain or trauma. In deep meditation, I was able to meet with the little me of 4 years old, who never felt good enough, and to bathe her in so much love and light. I also traveled back to the college aged me, who was in the throes of much destructive behavior, and terrible self loathing. How remarkable it was to embrace this younger me, to infuse her heart with love and acceptance.
What an exciting first week it has been with the Positive Principle! As architect of my own life, I am experiencing incredible things. It is truly an awakening I feel. The beauty of being part of The Positive Principle Show is that I must be accountable! That is a fantastic thing indeed, for I am treasuring what each moment, each hour, each day brings, which a far more conscious vision. My frustration prior to thus origami was the constant spinning of my wheels without gaining any traction towards my goals. Working one on one with Polly thus week, in addition to our broadcast last Tuesday, helped me to clarify my goals. Let me share with you how I envision my life pursuing my livelihood:
All of the 4 Cast Members will be answering this classic 10 questions from Bernard Pivot (you may have seen it used on Inside the Actor's Studio) so you can get to know them just a little better... You might want to do them your self!
Here are Heather's answers!
I am Heather Tobin, 46, and live in the woodsy lake town of Kingston, New Hampshire. Each morning I awake to the chorus of songbirds and it reminds me of my dreams. As a little girl the song of birds mesmerized and inspired me, for like them, singing was and always has been my soul's true calling. It is through sharing my voice, through the writing of music, that I have found my truest bliss. I dedicated the first half of my life to music, writing and playing professionally, from Boston, To New York, to L.A., and even Paris. And then a winter of great discontent hit me like an asteroid; the beast of severe depression twenty years ago.
I exited the stage and took to my bed, too paralyzed by depression and anxiety to pursue my dream. I heard the songbirds return each Spring and envied their freedom, their ability to take flight and be in tune with their purpose. I felt like a caged bird now, with her wings clipped...her voice muted.. I tried many therapies, medications, retreats, anything to banish the menace of clinical depression for 20 years. Only was it 4 months ago that a treatment called TMS, or Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, miraculously healed my despair addled brain into a new found well being. Now depression free, I am the fledging bird, ready to soar higher than even before. Oh but I need the help! I want to share my journey with you on the Positive Principle Show, to inspire you all never to give up. Come along, and fly with me, with the most beautiful of songs yet to come.
Heathers Submission Video