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Joan's Blog
Revelation of the week: There is no gatekeeper. Last week, when I wrote about art dealers, I chose the word "gatekeeper" to help others relate to my journey. Somehow, during my meditations and while re-watching the 2nd episode of our show, it became very clear to me that the gatekeeper is an illusion! I'm so thankful for this insight. During my coaching with Max, he told me that it's not necessary to work with people who are cold and uninterested. He said that these people were simply not for me. Over the next few days, I contemplated this and realized that once I attracted the right partnerships, there simply wouldn't be a gate or wall to keep me away from anything. The Universe/Spirit loves us so much. It is infinite. Although I have experienced unkind people in the art world in the past, there are countless wonderful people in the art world that I haven't met. There is infinity everywhere; that is the definition of infinity! haha. I make myself laugh because I tutor kids in Math, and I talk about positive and negative infinity every day! Infinity means forever and ever in all directions. It is incredibly powerful to think about this in relation to the possibility in life -- both yours and mine. Another critical lesson that Max brought to my attention this week is that it's critical to pay attention to our attention. Did you get that? I'll say it again. Pay attention to your attention. Where is your attention going? I've been meditating for a few years, but lately, my meditation practice has really helped me see my own thoughts very clearly. Our thoughts create our experience. When I lived in New York, I was concerned all the time with the cost of my apartment and how much I disliked the condition of the building in which I lived. I made a great income as a freelance photographer, but I didn't have many clients and worried about being "on edge". There wasn't much relief even when income was really good. There I was, living my dream of being a professional photographer in New York City, and I wasn't even having a great time while doing it. I was worried about how to get to a "safe" place financially and professionally. Pay attention to your attention. At the time, I didn't have the skills that I have now. There were PLENTY of good things happening in my life at the time. I really was living the dream. I had an awesome record collection, a beautiful collection of film cameras (that I used every day), I discovered a new method of creating pictures, I got to spend every day with my wonderful boyfriend, I enjoyed my friendships, I got to eat at the best restaurants and I could spend a day at the Metropolitan Museum of Art any time I was free. I did this every day! This was my life in New York. My dream had come true with lots of help from the Universe; it was a collaboration. Looking back, I understand that it takes a very courageous and skillful person to take the stress of regular life (cost of living, worldly concerns) and continue to focus one's attention on what is good. To stay thankful in the face of "scary" things. It is not easy, but it is doable. The rewards are countless. So, I continue to practice every day. Our thoughts create our lives. I'm so thankful for all of this learning and thankful I can share it with you.
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Hello Positive Principle People, A few days ago, I met with Max via FaceTime for my first coaching session. It was illuminating and energizing. With Max's help, I realized that some of my blocks are actually long held perceptions that can be changed. Here's an example: After two years of attending art openings, art receptions, museum parties, and more art openings, I believed that art dealers/gatekeepers are judgmental and cold. I felt that this small group of people held the keys to my dreams coming true, and it was impossible to build a real connection with them. My dreams were shot!* *This is the block that Max helped me to see. He actually raised his voice (kindly) and said it was critical that I stop saying that "All art dealers (gatekeepers) are impossible to connect with." Instead, I can say "In the past, my experience has been that art dealers are intimidating and uninterested in me." This empowers you to acknowledge what happened in the past, but you don't have to bring it into your present or future. Make space for a different possibility! Yes! I have heard this concept before: "Make space for a different possibility". But I did not apply it to gatekeepers/art dealers. It is fascinating to me that there are certain issues that I don't "see", so I don't apply my meditation and learnings to those issues. Max brought that to my attention immediately, and I'm so happy about it. This coaching session freed up good energy because I no longer have to believe that art dealers/gatekeepers are judgmental and uninterested in me. In fact, seeing this in written form makes it clear that these are the ego's words. I definitely do not want the ego to keep running this show. I'm a visual person and it frequently helps me to have a visual aid. So, here's a visual aid for what the ego is like (have you guys seen The Lord of the Rings?) This is Gollum, a character in Lord of the Rings. You don't really have to know the whole plot to understand my point. He is completely wrapped up in desire (our good intentions), but is equally overtaken by fear that anything good will be taken away from him. Thus, he is totally alone. In contrast, I think it's important to remember that we have a choice!
We can always choose love! Max reminded me that if I continue to choose the belief that art dealers/gatekeepers will not help me, then (by law of attraction), it will continue to be my reality. And here is a visual aid for Love :o) (I did not take this photo, see more awesome Netherlands tulip gardens here: https://petapixel.com/2017/04/20/shoot-tulips-netherlands/) Hello Positive Principle People,
When I received Max's congratulatory message for being cast, I was excited and then quite nervous. I applied to the show because I needed something to help me expand. Now that I'm officially on the show (thank you Max and Polly), I will have to step up to do the things that have been obstacles for a long time. I get intimidated by people with the power to open doors for me. Spiritually, I feel that my artwork is more powerful than art world gatekeepers, and yet I haven't found the magic combination to open those doors here in the physical world. Life is such a big mystery, isn't it? I wonder what I haven't been able to overcome and why. We are mysteries to ourselves, yet we have an inner compass pointing us towards what our lives could be like. Over the past few weeks, through Max's Money May program, I started paying more attention to shadow beliefs. These are beliefs that sabotage you, but are hidden in your subconscious. I'm looking forward to uncovering these with Max's help. In these days leading up to the show's premiere, I've been feeling lots of mixed emotions. To be honest, I felt afraid to continue with the show. I actually have to put my money where my mouth is! On the other hand, if I hold myself accountable, I just might live my dreams! Although I'm afraid to face my shadow beliefs, I know that the rest of my life can't keep waiting. Here are some of the photos that I'd like to display at an art show. Although they don't look like traditional pictures, they are indeed photographs. I made them using multiple exposure and a Polaroid camera. They are a love letter to color and light. I hope you enjoy them! Much love, Joan |
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