Anjelica's Week 5 Blog

If you were to ask me to tell you my story as it right now, I wouldn't want to.  I wouldn't want to because it is not the story I wrote.  My ego and the evil voice inside my head teamed up and wrote the story as it is so far.  The hardest part to swallow is that it they are indeed part of me and wrote the story I bare to live right now.  If you were to crack open my storybook from the past to the present you would find that its pages filled with self-sabotage.  It is filled with self doubt and negative thinking - "I'm not pretty enough, not talented enough, not good enough, etc."  It consists of me attracting the wrong things and the wrong, unsupportive people.  It is me always thinking that I needed someone else to help get the things I want in life because I wasn't lucky enough to get noticed or to attract it myself.  There are plenty of times where I wanted something very badly and prayed, hoped and wished, thinking I was being positive and I would get it; and then just to have it later dangled right in front of my face as if someone was waving a fillet mignon in front of a lion and then not giving it to them.  Some of those times, even watching someone else get it right in front of me, all inside a town where the majority of the people live a negative lifestyle, who when I tell them my dreams say, "that will never happen", "you'll never get anywhere near that", "you will never get that" or "who do you think you are".  Well sorry ego, I am taking the pen out of your hand and burning a fire through this bullshit story you write because this is where your turmoil ends and MY story begins.

I would like to start my story with "Once Upon A Time" but stories are fiction and mine will be purely nonfiction, so let's call it my reality.  In my reality, from now on, I am going to forgive myself for beating myself down so now I can love and build myself up.  I now know my ego may be a part of me, but it does not run my life; it is a factor I will do my best to ignore at its worst moments.  No matter what the circumstance, no matter what anyone tells me, I know I am good enough for anyone or anything.  I am going to attract the right things, the right people, the things and people that I want and deserve.  I am not going to believe in luck anymore or feel that I need someone with connections or better luck to attract half of what I want because I believe that I will attract 100% of what I want all on my own.  I am going to continue to pray and hope for what I want, but I will also think, say, feel, and believe that I will get it.  I am going to be the lion that gets fed and not care what the other animals get.  I am going to live in a place surrounded by successful people or people striving to be successful in what they do so they will believe that anything is possible, as well.

Of course, not everything in my reality will be rainbows and flowers, but I have the mindset to skate through those times gracefully.  In my reality, from here on out, I will be open to all good vibes.  My reality is filled with receiving amazing opportunities that I thought I would never get and ones I never even thought of.