If you were to ask me to tell you my story as it right now, I wouldn't want to.  I wouldn't want to because it is not the story I wrote.  My ego and the evil voice inside my head teamed up and wrote the story as it is so far.  The hardest part to swallow is that it they are indeed part of me and wrote the story I bare to live right now.  If you were to crack open my storybook from the past to the present you would find that its pages filled with self-sabotage.  It is filled with self doubt and negative thinking - "I'm not pretty enough, not talented enough, not good enough, etc."  It consists of me attracting the wrong things and the wrong, unsupportive people.  It is me always thinking that I needed someone else to help get the things I want in life because I wasn't lucky enough to get noticed or to attract it myself.  There are plenty of times where I wanted something very badly and prayed, hoped and wished, thinking I was being positive and I would get it; and then just to have it later dangled right in front of my face as if someone was waving a fillet mignon in front of a lion and then not giving it to them.  Some of those times, even watching someone else get it right in front of me, all inside a town where the majority of the people live a negative lifestyle, who when I tell them my dreams say, "that will never happen", "you'll never get anywhere near that", "you will never get that" or "who do you think you are".  Well sorry ego, I am taking the pen out of your hand and burning a fire through this bullshit story you write because this is where your turmoil ends and MY story begins.

I would like to start my story with "Once Upon A Time" but stories are fiction and mine will be purely nonfiction, so let's call it my reality.  In my reality, from now on, I am going to forgive myself for beating myself down so now I can love and build myself up.  I now know my ego may be a part of me, but it does not run my life; it is a factor I will do my best to ignore at its worst moments.  No matter what the circumstance, no matter what anyone tells me, I know I am good enough for anyone or anything.  I am going to attract the right things, the right people, the things and people that I want and deserve.  I am not going to believe in luck anymore or feel that I need someone with connections or better luck to attract half of what I want because I believe that I will attract 100% of what I want all on my own.  I am going to continue to pray and hope for what I want, but I will also think, say, feel, and believe that I will get it.  I am going to be the lion that gets fed and not care what the other animals get.  I am going to live in a place surrounded by successful people or people striving to be successful in what they do so they will believe that anything is possible, as well.

Of course, not everything in my reality will be rainbows and flowers, but I have the mindset to skate through those times gracefully.  In my reality, from here on out, I will be open to all good vibes.  My reality is filled with receiving amazing opportunities that I thought I would never get and ones I never even thought of. 

From traveling, to applying for jobs, to making connections, and of course enjoying my vacation, its safe to say this week was an eventful one!  Unfortunately, it was also a frustrating one.  While I made countless connections with people who have the power to help me, none have panned out yet, which is very disappointing.  If you were to compare my success this week to a car, I'd say I feel like my wheels are spinning faster than a Ferrari's, only the wheels aren't touching the ground so I'm not traveling anywhere just yet.

Some would probably think I'm just being impatient, but people need to understand that while I am a unique thinker for my age, I am a product of my generation.  I grew up during a time where technology made it possible to get whatever you wanted in an instant, or at least a short amount of time. If you want to get some place, hop in your car and go.  You want to buy something but don't have cash, swipe some plastic and pay later.  What you want isn't in stores, have it shipped overnight to your home.  Long point short, I grew up learning that it was easy to get most things with little or no effort.  So this week I am learning that the amazing things in life, like your dreams, take time.  I just can't wait to be at the point in my life when I get to say, "I'm here and it was all worth it".

As far back as I can remember my father always told me, "...It ain't how hard you hit; its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward...", a quote from his favorite movie.  So what I am teaching everyone this week is that I am an example of someone who never stops fighting for what they want in life; not only am I someone who can pack a wallop, but as anyone who knows me can attest to, I can certainly take a punch!  I might stumble, but I refuse to fall, and if I do, I will certainly get up swinging.  

The first two weeks' lessons were based on the way we think and the way we feel. This week's lesson is the past two weeks' lessons combined with action.

I guess you can say the last two lessons were a struggle for me and the basis of this week's was definitely easier going on me. To be told you can control your thoughts and feelings and then to actually practice doing it was such a foreign thing to me. My thoughts and feelings always used to overwhelm me, whether they were for the better
or for worse.  To take action however, is something I'm used to.

In the past I was constantly taking action after action with
absolutely no results that made me happy because I wasn't thinking positive or feeling positive. But that's all in the past. Now I'm combining all three of those things and it's scary.

It's scary for two reasons. Reason #1- trying to juggle all three-
thoughts, feelings,and actions to  make sure all three are on point so I can attract and manifest what I desire.

Reason #2- my nerves are
extremely jittery because I can't clarify the type of vibes I'm
feeling. I don't know whether the vibes are good or bad all I know is that they are STRONG. For all of you who watch the show and who go off
vibes, I'm sure you can relate to the nervousness I'm feeling. It's
sort of scary not being able to verify the type of vibe your feeling because usually if you feel vibes you can tell whether they are good or bad pretty quickly.

For those those of you but don't go off of vibes, the best way I can describe the nervousness I'm getting is this. Imagine going bungee jumping. They get you all set up, you climb
up and you adjust yourself right before the edge. You glance at the scary ground below you and then gaze at the amazing site ahead of you.
Before you jump you don't know if the cord is gonna snap and you'll fall to the ground or if you'll be fine and get a crazy upside down view of the amazing site, but you jump regardless of the outcome.

I'm about to jump. Wish me luck!